Highs, Lows, and Everything in Between

Well, after the highs of the last two days, it seems that Thursday brought an energetic wall for many of us … including me. Prashant was giving us an exploration of the diverse relationships we may have with any one pose under different circumstances – similar to his book, Alpha and Omega of Trikonasana. His choice pose for exploration in this class was Sirsasana.

This is a long post, so tuck in or take it in doses…

How class went for me: I think it is a good example of how we might always expect “ease” and “delight” in yoga as the outcome, but learning can happen under any and all circumstances.

As usual, I am excited to see where a Prashant class will take us. He has been talking a lot on the ideas of “interaction” of our body, mind , and breath in such things as transactions, community participations, and making gestures. Today he continued with how those relationships and interactions change in different scenarios – we may act differently when we are with friends alone, or in front of our children, or in front of a teacher, for examples. Like that, one pose changes depending on where it shows up in a sequence or how it is practiced in space and time, how we apply the breath or how the mind is directing or not.

1. We straight away began with Sirsasana…all fine and good. But as we commenced with the intermediary poses, I began to feel “off” and could tell I was not ready to be doing much deep exploration. With Ropes I, I was stuck to one rope on a column which meant not a lot of space to open my shoulders, and so I went “easy” in order to give my breath movement and space. But, my mind was racing.
2. Second Sirsasana felt fine. My mind stabilized a bit, had freer access to the breath in my top chest, and I thought that with my breath-addressals I was bringing myself back to the experience. Hanging dog pose was next and though I am always a bit distracted by the fact that no one rope is the same length throughout the institute, I usually figure it out…fine.
3. Third Sirsasana was also not too bad – my top thighs that are usually heavy felt nicely lifted by the relationship to the hanging dog pose just before, and I began to explore breath addressals in that area as well. We were able to choose variations as we liked as we continued, and each time I chose variations that seemed addressed by or benefitted from the previous positions. Brick Setu-Bandha was the next intermediary.
4. Fourth Sirsasana seemed like it would be nice also knowing that my buttocks gets heavy, and after having the brick in Set Bandha, I expected even MORE freedom. However, though initial addressals to the buttocks and pelvis seemed just fine, my body began to fatigue and my mind went back to its initial distracted state. By the time Sirsasana #4 was coming to an end, I was verging on frustration and agitation. But, like it or not, frustration and agitation are “mind-gestures”, so I chose to take it for what it was, a learning opportunity.
5. Before the fifth Sirsasana we were in chairs twisting, and though I needed the twist for recovery, and took it to open again to the process, my mind was beginning to dread…another Sirsasana…and “when will it end?”. A dreading mind is one that can sap energy away from all other relationships, suck the air out of the embodiment, and leave any door to exploration closed.
6. By the sixth Sirsasana, I was over. My mind was screaming in my head, there was no yoga happening, and despite all trials of breath and going back to a “just do” physical mentality, I had to stop.

Only after we were tortured a bit longer in a free standing SetuBandha, did we end with chair Sarvangasana and Viparita Karani. And, it seems I was not alone in wanting to run from the room as soon as we were able. Later in the day, checking in with many of our visiting group, we all hit a low … sapped.

The Aftermath and Afternoon

I had a short practice and went to observe the “seniors class” upstairs. Great to see how hard they work and I might have gotten a few ideas for approaching some prone back arches for the Ageless groups (hehe, wink wink).

In the afternoon we had another “visitor special” with Abhi’s sister-in-law, Pavithra. As with all other of the assistants and teachers that have been giving these classes, she was just amazing! She covered how to get “beginners” into Sarvangasana and I think pretty quickly blew all of our minds. Before Sarvangasana is done for beginners, there are three poses she mentioned to first achieve – Halasana, Karnapidasana, and Parsva Halasana. And, I think that left most of us Westerners a little gobsmacked. However, it is very clear why they start there and why it would ultimately make sense if in approach we were not so obsessed with perfection. In most classes, before they are approaching Halasana, they have been just rolling back and forth, getting freedom in movement, pumping hips in Chattushpadasana for lightness and lift, etc…And, once they are approaching Halasana, it is the same no-nonsense “just try” with feet rolling toward the wall and not a lot of instruction or prop. Roll, roll, roll and roll again.

There was some discussion about different body types in the West, but to Pavithra’s point, it does not really matter. There was discussion about the teacher’s fear feeding the student’s fear and visa versa, with the over use of props and developing road blocks before they even occur. Her hope is that we can build students up beyond fear and beyond so many “rules”. In her words, she described herself pre-yoga as “very black and white”, she saw no spectrum in between. But, in practice and teaching, and within one particular encounter with an older student, and subsequent class with Prashant that seemed similar to his approach today, she said her mind broke open realizing the whole spectrum of approach in Iyengar Yoga. It was inspiring to hear her speak, and I continue to wonder how we became so boxed in to our Western approach. Perfection in achievement of poses, not to mention progress on a timeline and not an evolution, has sometimes suffocated the creativity and really the actual “discipline” out of practice. She repeated that “discipline is in the doing”, but if we stop people from “just doing” because we expect it to be perfect, make them dependent on points and instructions alone, then yoga is not able to even begin.

So, from yesterday’s high to this morning’s low, this afternoon lands me somewhere on the spectrum in between. One of the last things Pavithra shared with us is that her coming to yoga was a bit of a “fluke” or a “mystery”. She holds a PhD in something she consider’s her passion, but would not go back to it even if asked now. I feel the same in so many ways. Yoga arrived in my life completely unexpected, and all that I have done, learned, and experienced, the people I have met and encountered, have landed me where I am now – a place that my previous “self” would never have guessed. I have no idea “why”, but that is not necessarily for me to know the answer to, just for me to continue the work on this path that continues to open before me…amongst the highs, the lows, and everything in between.

In closing…it has been raining A LOT this month and I have yet to settle into that rhythm. Hot, humid, sweaty, wet life is not usually my optimum environment. However, as I walked home in ankle deep “water”, trying NOT to think about what possibly lurks within it, I had some certain urges to splash and celebrate this crazy weird life we are all partaking in!